


opera goer's dilemma

by tangentiallly



Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Gen, Moral Ambiguity, Pre-Canon, discussions of the opera night, repeated mentions of beatrice, sebald code meets prime factorization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28167150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tangentiallly/pseuds/tangentiallly
Summary: “Is this like, some twisted version of the prisoner’s dilemma?” Bertrand asked glumly, sliding down in the passenger seat slightly.Kit scoffed, “of course not. Since we don’t have the option of all opting out and not completing the mission.” She stepped on the accelerator, full force. “Only all opting in. Terrible comparison.”
Relationships: Bertrand Baudelaire & Kit Snicket
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	opera goer's dilemma

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i don't own asoue

Kit reached out a hand to turn the volume down, and the jazz music faded into the background in the taxi. A preface for a serious talk. Bertrand frowned, tearing his gaze away from the city sidewalks outside of the car window and turning to glance at Kit.

Kit didn’t speak at first, so Bertrand didn’t, either, waiting patiently for whatever she’s about to say. When Kit turned the music down, it meant she wanted to discuss something serious, which meant he was in no hurry to rush into that conversation. He didn’t turn back to face the window, but he did choose to resolutely focus on the road ahead of them. He noticed the plate of the car in front of them included two vowels and two prime numbers. He multiplied the two prime numbers together and filed it away in his head. He could use it later as a hint, the prime factorization results for a modified version of sebald code that alternated using the two prime numbers as the number of additional words needed between the real message. Always using the same number was so predictable, considering their enemies had been taught the exact same code. Even if one inserted unnecessary big words in the letter to draw attention to the pretentious writing style to disguise the existence of a secret message, it was still much too unsafe to his liking.

Kit spoke. “Beatrice talked to me last night.”

Kit paused visibly after that, so Bertrand dutifully prompted, “dare I ask?”

Kit hesitated, and then continued, “She said I don’t need to be involved in La Forza del Destino. That she and you are capable of bringing the darts yourselves, there’s no need for me to also get involved.”

Unsurprising, Bertrand thought. He said, “if Beatrice had her way, she probably thought I won’t be needed as well, and that she’s capable of firing the darts herself without me.”

“In the sense that her aim is better than you, she’s not wrong,” Kit remarked. “Although she conveniently didn’t mention this part last night. Probably because she knew no one would ever agree to let her do this alone, and that trying to push everyone out wouldn’t be successful, so she can only try to push out as many people as she could.”

“Probably,” Bertrand agreed. It was a very Beatrice thing to be confident enough of her own skills to think she could accomplish this alone. It was an even more Beatrice thing to decide that she wanted to bear this burden and guilt alone, to keep the others’ hands clean. She would have probably rationalized with herself that Olaf was first and foremost her friend, before anything else, and it was the most suitable way, that it was her burden to carry. And it was the most Beatrice thing, of course, to want to protect her friends and shelter her friends, to consider this her responsibility, as some sort of the leader of the friend group.

Never mind the fact that she was younger than either him or Kit. Actually, that probably made her even more set on this, because she always wanted to prove that being slightly younger didn’t mean her skills were not as good, or even better.

“Typical,” Kit murmured. She looked frustrated for a moment. “For her to think she should be the one to protect everyone else on something like  _ this _ .”

“Your brother probably wished she had this kind of thinking when she took Jerome with them up to the mountain,” Bertrand commented.

“Oh _ please _ ,” Kit said in annoyance as she sped up and casually dodged left and right, narrowly avoiding the cars in front of them. “You know she only did that because she was confident she could protect Jerome up there, and truth was, she  _ did _ . Jerome wasn’t the one who got carried away by the eagles. Which is not the point. The point is as much as Beatrice wanted to do this alone, I can’t let her.  _ We _ can’t let her.” She turned to fix Bertrand with a glare.

“I know that,” Bertrand said. “Of course I know that. Keep your eyes on the road, K.”

She huffed, “She’s got this idea in her head that if she was capable of firing the dart perfectly, no reason we need to all have a hand in this and carry the guilt. No reason for everyone to all be burdened. Which is just -  _ senseless. _ I don’t get it at all.”

“Don’t you?” Bertrand asked doubtfully. “There are many reasons I disagree with that line of thinking - security measures and the importance of backup plans and backup agents in place come to mind - but can you really pretend you don’t understand? That you won’t try to do the same thing, to carry the whole guilt yourself, if you were in the position to do it?”

Kit did a sharp left turn. “Fine, fine. I would have considered it, happy? But ultimately I would know that’s too dangerous, and risky to the mission as a whole, to not have backup in place.”

“Maybe that meant she’s more confident in her skills that backup won’t be needed,” Bertrand suggested. “Which, of course, can’t be news to you either.”

“More like she’s more comfortable with higher levels of risks,” Kit muttered. “Which is the part where I don’t get, really. Her desire to protect our conscience and keep our hands clean shouldn’t outweigh the safety and success of the mission. Her judgement’s  _ clouded _ .” Kit swallowed angrily. “I can’t believe she offered it, it’s so reckless, unnecessary -” her foot slammed on the accelerator. “Utterly unnecessary.” She concluded.

After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, Bertrand said, “Are you angry because for a moment, you were briefly tempted to take the offer?”

“I would  _ never _ have taken the offer,” Kit said sharply. Immediately. Vehemently. “Not even when she tried to seem sensible by saying that there’s no point in everyone having to bear the burden, that the less people carrying the guilt the better, that -” she exhaled. “I know my duty.”

“I never said you don’t,” Bertrand frowned. “But I think it’s understandable if one were to feel - briefly tempted by the idea of not having a hand in this? To stay clean of this?”

“Are  _ you _ ? Tempted?” Kit asked shrewdly. “Is that why you want to convince me that I also think the same way?”

Bertrand shuffled in his seat uncomfortably, “Look, Kit -”

“ _ Are you _ ?” she demanded again.

Bertrand relented, “It’s certainly ... a tempting proposal, in some aspect.”

Kit was silent for a moment, and then said, “Well then yes, the thought has also crossed my mind. But I’m never going to let her do it alone.”

“Neither am I,” Bertrand said, a little harsher than he intended. He drew a deep breath, calming himself. “Security measures and backup plans aside, if things go successfully and smoothly, it probably doesn’t matter if we choose not to do any work. It would seem like it doesn’t make a difference, in the grander scheme of things.” He paused. “But that not making a difference also meant that even if we choose to keep our hands clean, if the mission’s a success, our targets will still be dead. It doesn’t -” he choked a bit. “- it doesn’t change anything, we’re not saving anyone.”

She slowly slowed down the taxi to a more appropriate speed. “Exactly,” she said, grimly, sounding determined. “That’s what I was thinking, too. If we’re not going to change the end results, then I - we - might as well bear this burden with her, because she shouldn’t have to carry it alone later. That would’ve been too …”

“Selfish of us,” Bertrand supplied.

“Exactly,” Kit said again. “It doesn’t _ actually _ save anyone, it doesn’t change the results, it only - absolves ourselves, to a degree. Which, while might have sounded briefly tempting, is ultimately … not a good decision, I think we can both agree.”

“Right. Of course.”

“So,  _ neither of us are backing out _ ,” Kit said, “right?”

Bertrand took a deep breath. “Neither of us are backing out,” he confirmed grimly.

“Okay,” Kit nodded. “Just making sure. We can’t - we can’t let her do it alone, she -”

“- shouldn’t have to carry the guilt alone afterwards,” he finished.

“Exactly,” Kit nodded again. She reached a hand out to turn up the volume of the music again, sighing. “It’s so ... contradictory, in a sense, isn’t it? She wanted to choose to do it alone so less people in total would be burdened, and we can’t let her to id because no one should suffer that burden alone.”

“Is this like, some twisted version of the prisoner’s dilemma?” Bertrand asked glumly, sliding down in the passenger seat slightly.

Kit scoffed, “of course not. Since we don’t have the option of  _ all  _ opting out and not completing the mission.” She stepped on the accelerator, full force. “Only all _ opting in _ . Terrible comparison.”

“If you say so,” he said drily. Kit huffed.

They let the music fill the silence for a while.

“Hey, Snicket.”

“What?” She asked irritably.

“Want to take a guess if 6497 is a prime number or not?”

“It isn’t,” Kit said, flatly. “Because I’m rather sure it’s the product of two prime numbers that you saw in the past hour, probably.”

She truly knew him too well.

**Author's Note:**

> [come say hi on tumblr](https://beatricebidelaire.tumblr.com)


End file.
